Reflections on the lost fight. On the 16th of January, it was 8 months and 2 days ago since I had won my first fight in Thailand. I kind of was still feeling the hype from that fight. I mean, a skinny inexperienced white kid fights a bigger more experienced Thai fighter and wins in the 5th round. It was almost like it was a movie scripts for a new Rocky movie. During those 8 months, people kept asking me when I would fight again and my answer was always the same. I was ready but for some reason getting a fight seemed a bit harder than expected. In Belgium, the earliest I could fight was near the ending of October, so I left Belgium once again to fight in Thailand. Eventually, I ended up back in Koh Phangan. Back to the roots. They asked me to fight as soon as I arrived and 3 weeks later I stepped into the ring. Better than ever, more confident than ever and more relaxed than ever.

the walkout was a party on its own but then… I lost after 4 rounds because they stopped the fight without a reason. The referee went to the judges and the fight went to the opposite corner. What can I say… it’s Thailand (shrugs shoulders). So there I was confused because they never let me fight that 5th round but also happy because I barely took any damage and put up a fight. So that brings us to the topic of this blog. I lost a fight and you could probably care less but I suggest you keep reading because I’m not the only one who can learn lessons from this loss.

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Have you’ve ever wondered why you’re stuck at a mediocre level in life? Or do you aspire to get more out of life than mediocrity? The thing is that it’s hard to surpass mediocrity and that’s why most people fail to do it. People mostly want instant gratification and that is not what’ll lead to great results. It’ll give you the opposite result but that’s what people fail to realize. They want a good feeling now and don’t care about the long-lasting frustration later on in life. They’re stuck at mediocrity and come up with all kinds of weird excuses why they’re not at the top in life. This slowly puts them to sleep and then the famous phrase of defeat pops up into their head. The phrase goes as follows “Well I tried everything but it won’t be for me in this lifetime”.

After that frustration and disappointment set in. But that begs the question: did you do everything? Or do you assume that you did everything? There’s a big difference between the two. A difference that could change the whole outcome of your life. Read More

It’s a sad reality but people can earn a lot of money based on your misery. It’s so easy these days to get access to people since most people use social media to compare themselves to other people. They want to see how other people are better than them. But then out of nowhere (hint: it was the algorithm), they get this ad from some guru who claims to be able to rock your life. Well, rock your life for a certain prize of course. It’s mostly way too expensive for what it is since a lot of them underperform big time. There’s just one issue, there’s no money-back guarantee and the fact that it didn’t work for you is entirely your fault. You should have listened! But is you not listening to the real issue here or is it that you were just scammed like so many other people.

Chances are that it is the latter because most gurus use a pyramid scheme. So let’s stop wasting time and dive into it.

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Having a losing tactic in life will make sure that you end up losing. It’s as easy as that yet most people don’t seem to realize this. They have this kind of tactic in life and end up complaining all the time. Life seems so unfair to them but how can one blame life?! What does life have to do with the fact that you have the wrong tactics? Why blame life about things that are in your control? You act like some things aren’t in your control while in reality, they are. This is a bad tactic on its own, something goes wrong and you blame life instead of learning a lesson. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You try to look perfect on Instagram and take this approach when it comes to real-life but this isn’t suitable for real life. There are no fake filters in life and you’re either trying to win or avoiding to the losing streak. Guess where most people end up. They end up in the avoidance group.

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Rock bottom ain’t a bad place… People will assume I’m crazy for saying this but I stand by the quote. Rock bottom ain’t a bad place if you want to rebuild your life. It’s a tricky place to be at because things can go south easily but hear me out on this one. I’ve got multiple reasons to say this and maybe you’ll feel the same after you’ve read this blog. In the end, you can only understand what I’m about to say if you’ve been through what I’m about to say or read and reflect on what I say. Judging this post won’t help you. It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself at that dark place but it’s not worth it. You’re in a great spot and you don’t even realize it. Maybe it’s time to turn shit into sugar instead of feeling like shit all the time?!

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Welcome to the age of delusion where so-called authorities will make sure you’re in a state of constant confusion. It isn’t uncommon these days to have people who claim to be an authority while in reality, they know almost nothing about a certain subject. These types of individuals can end up costing you a lot of money, endanger your health and so on. The sad thing is that it’s hard to spot them, you have to get behind a whole ego facade to expose them… and that is the last thing they want. Those people like to live in their world of delusion and will make sure that they don’t have people who question their methods. You’ll quickly notice that the people who follow them are mostly people who’re good at following. Zero questions asked. Luckily there are ways to spot them “fast”. It took me once 2 years to figure such a person out. The fastest didn’t take me longer than 2 weeks since the person in question was avoiding me.

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How did you change your life? It’s a question that I get asked all the time since I’ve been into self-development or whatever you want to call it. That whole movement is suddenly getting a huge hype while it actually shouldn’t. But at least I can say that I did it before it was cool. The rise of social media and self- development gurus have made sure that we needed to relearn a lot of obvious lessons and it’s kind of sad. I mean who doesn’t know that you shouldn’t give a fuck about things you can’t control or people’s opinion in general. That isn’t groundbreaking yet it became a bestseller. I loved the book since I liked the writing style but it seemed like people were blown away by this book. Read More

Meditation has been on the rise lately. It’s the next big thing and you can download at least 4000 apps to hear somebody silently whisper in your ear for a certain amount of time while you’re supposed to just sit there. I meditated for about 3 years and I stopped from one day on the other. I just had an insight that some people seem to miss out on.  In Thailand, I was getting ready to meditate, so I sat down and suddenly told myself “this is stupid, I’m done with this”. Did meditation help me along the way? I think so to be honest. It helped me realize that I was breathing in the wrong way (chest breathing instead of belly breathing). Aside from that, there are a lot of so-called benefits, but I’ve never experienced one of them. Weird right? Not one of them in 3 years. I think other people have no clue what the benefits are either. They’re just riding the hype train. Read More

Do you have an abundance mindset? I applaud you if you’ve got one! But chances are you’re not even aware of the existence of this kind of mindset. You see most people have a scarcity mindset and that mindset makes things mostly worse. The scarcity mindset will make sure that you live in a constant state of fear or grief. They’re either afraid of something they might lose or they’ve lost it and can’t handle the fact that they’ve lost it. That’s not healthy and that’s why I want to introduce the abundance mindset right now. I’ll explain to you how I implemented this mindset in my own life and how you can as well.

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What should you do if you’re broke and ambitious? I’ve heard this question tons of times over the years and I never really had an answer for it because I’d never been and still haven’t been in that situation. It’s all about being smart with your money but that doesn’t mean that this can never happen to me. Although my calculated risk paid off so far this doesn’t mean that I’m perfect. But ok back to your situation, let’s imagine that you’re ambitious, went all out and suddenly are down to your last dollars. That’s a possibility and now you have to work your way back up again just to do it all over again. You probably feel like Sisyphus. Pushing the rock on the hill just to see it go back down and then just to repeat the whole process over and over again.

What to do if you’re broke and ambitious but don’t want to work.

This one if kind of funny to me. Some people have the following attitude.

1. I don’t want to work a normal job but I want to be successful in what I do.
2. I want to work but only in that position (mostly a higher one that you can’t have right away).

If you’re falling into the second category I can tell you only one thing. Stop feeling so fucking entitled. Sure you’ve got a degree but that doesn’t make you better than other people. You have to start at the bottom just like anybody else. And they dare to say stuff like “but I deserve that position”. The only thing that you derve is a slap to your head. Maybe that’ll get you to use a little more common sense next time you “think”. I hate people with this attitude but I guess you kind of figured that one out already. That whole attitude is the reason that you’re slowly going broke and don’t get the job you want.

The “I don’t want to do a normal job” part even when you’re broke.

Listen, normal jobs suck. I get it. They’re a huge waste of time in my opinion. But how can you claim that you don’t want to do a normal job when you don’t have money? That kind of doesn’t make sense. It’s not about not wanting to do a normal job. You just don’t want to work in general. Because if you wanted something you’d do everything to get if, even if that meant that you had to work a normal job just to make money. Let me give you a real-life example. I know a girl who’s got a controlling mom and is pretty miserable at home. She’s about to move out. But moving out costs a lot of money and she chose to move out despite that. She knew it meant she had to work crazy long hours (she works 60+ hours a week) to make it happen.

She could have stayed at home and suffered silently but she chose to do the right thing and move out. Amor fati, embrace your fate. And then people make claims like “the devil I know is better than the devil I don’t.” Well, I wouldn’t be so sure of that. The clock is ticking. You’ll be more miserable 5 years down the line and you’ll be older and less likely to take the step to make a change. Because waiting equals problem creating. You’re going to struggle anyways so why not struggle to pursue something meaningful?! The longer you wait the harder it gets and you’ll turn bitter instead of becoming better.

What to do if you’re broke and ambitious. Get a job but…

This one is self- explanatory right? I mean you need money so you work to earn that money. But make sure that you get a job that doesn’t require you to work a lot of overtime if you don’t need to. I never accepted a job that required me to work more than 8 hours a day. I could do this because I didn’t throw my money out of the windows. There’s a reason why I lived for 3 months in Thailand without having to worry about money. Sure I made money from my second book (you can buy it here) and my blog but I also had cash aside.

The best-case scenario is that you look for a job that pays you to work 8 hours but lets you go home when your work is done. So far I only know one profession that allows this and that’s being a mailman.

This is like the best-case scenario. Some people will have to work more than one job to get by and eventually be able to save money. Sell whatever you don’t need and be smart with your money! Buying stuff that you don’t need is like the easiest way to go broke in no time.

The 72- hour rule.

This is a pretty interesting concept. Most people see something, think they want it and then buy it. This leads to the fact that they sometimes have 4 headphones while they only use one. This is where the 72-hour rule comes in. It’s pretty easy. Whenever you see something, don’t buy it. Wait for 72 hours instead and buy it if you still assume that you need it. You’ll most likely forget about it and never buy it or realize that you didn’t need it in the first place. I mean how many people complain about the fact that they’ve got way too much stuff?! The 72- hour rule solves this issue pretty quickly.

What to do if you’re broke and ambitious. Try to live below your “standards”.

This is the reason why most people have money problems. They need a nice house/apartment, a car, the newest smartphone, tablet, computer and so on. Buy what you need and forget about the rest. I was extremely happy in Thailand and I only had a bed, a fan, and a shower. I was sleeping in a hut and that was all I needed. Some people will be like “well I can’t do that. I need comfort.” The truth is that you don’t but look at it this way. Wouldn’t it be better to live a little more modest and than later improve your life situation when you have the money to do it? Doesn’t that sound so much better. You’re just afraid of what people will say behind your back. Those same people have probably a lot of money problems or a leaping pile of debt.

Living the Instagram rockstar life that they couldn’t afford in the first place #sohappy #completelybroke.

Some alternatives.

You don’t have to live alone of course. You can just rent a cheap place with friends and split costs. Or you can live at home for a while if you’ve got a good bond with your parents. You can kind of make a deal with your girlfriend to figure out how to make money. Demetrious Johnson had a job with normal hours so that he could focus on training. His girlfriend worked 4 jobs to get in extra money. They lived in a small place. She just believed in him and supported him (watch this video to see the details.). He’s one of the greatest MMA fighters that ever walked the planet. Probably wasn’t easy but they made it work. Now he makes all the money and she can stay home with the kids.

The problem with the last example is that for every DJ 9 guys just talk a lot and never achieve anything. But what DJ and his wife have defiantly falls under the category lifegoals. The problem these days is that mostly both genders chase a career and that just doesn’t work out in the long run.

What to do if you’re broke and ambitious. The money aspect.

So you did all those things and suddenly have a nice amount of money. So what do you do now? Well, I can only say this “invest in yourself”. I can only say this because I don’t know what your goals are. Just realize that there are also a lot of free resources in this world. I mean I watch MMA related stuff every single day. Investing in yourself means that you buy books or courses related to whatever you want. Hell, maybe you even get a mentor. I had multiple mentors in life. Some were free and some were paid for but I always made sure that they achieved something that I wanted. That’s why I took Sean Fagan as a mentor. He is a blogger and a fighter. He’s probably also one of the few people that understands how hard it is to balance fighting and blogging.

After a while, you’ll have learned so much that you can do the same thing. In Thailand, multiple people came up to me and asked to private sessions. That’s also why I have a coaching program that teaches young men how to figure out what they want and go after it with killer confidence. I gained so much knowledge over the years that I now teach it. I guide men who’re at the same spot where I was 3 years ago. Lost and insecure. Not knowing what they want but also realizing that they want something different than working from 9 to 5 until they’re 65.

Or you can just invest your money in whatever you need to do to take your life and projects to the next level. Just stay woke and don’t go broke.

Work with me.

Did the final last paragraph resonate with you? Well, I can help you out! You can contact me if you have questions regarding the coaching program. Or you can prove that you want to turn your life around and take immediate action. That means that you schedule a free 60 min Skype call with me where we go over your wants, needs, and obstacles in life. You can schedule that one here.

Be quick though because places are limited. I only take 3 clients for now because my main focus is on fighting.

Till next time,

Alex