Reflections on the lost fight. On the 16th of January, it was 8 months and 2 days ago since I had won my first fight in Thailand. I kind of was still feeling the hype from that fight. I mean, a skinny inexperienced white kid fights a bigger more experienced Thai fighter and wins in the 5th round. It was almost like it was a movie scripts for a new Rocky movie. During those 8 months, people kept asking me when I would fight again and my answer was always the same. I was ready but for some reason getting a fight seemed a bit harder than expected. In Belgium, the earliest I could fight was near the ending of October, so I left Belgium once again to fight in Thailand. Eventually, I ended up back in Koh Phangan. Back to the roots. They asked me to fight as soon as I arrived and 3 weeks later I stepped into the ring. Better than ever, more confident than ever and more relaxed than ever.
the walkout was a party on its own but then… I lost after 4 rounds because they stopped the fight without a reason. The referee went to the judges and the fight went to the opposite corner. What can I say… it’s Thailand (shrugs shoulders). So there I was confused because they never let me fight that 5th round but also happy because I barely took any damage and put up a fight. So that brings us to the topic of this blog. I lost a fight and you could probably care less but I suggest you keep reading because I’m not the only one who can learn lessons from this loss.
The lost fight and the numbers game.
People who start fighting always say the same thing: “I don’t want to lose”. I was like that too before my first fight but in reality, that’s a stupid remark since 50% of fighters will lose their first fight (makes sense, just think about it). I lost my second fight and I don’t think it’s a bad thing. You see most people fight cans (easy fights) and have these padded records because they always pick the easy fight. They care more about winning than anything else. Those people get double-digit wins and 0 losses but they forget that losing is inevitable. So the inevitable happens down the road and then they quit because they can’t handle it. It’s an ego thing I guess.
The attitude towards fighting should be plain and simple: anyone, anywhere, anytime, any weight. That’s how you step in the ring and you put up a fight. I knew my opponent was going to be strong and more experienced. I didn’t think about that during the preparation. Why would I?! Won’t make any difference since I was going to fight anyway.
In the end, his experience was the deciding factor in the fight but he didn’t get it for free.
The lost fight and the inevitable reality check.
Fighting is an easy sport. It can only go good or bad. But in the end, you decide if you keep going when the going get’s tough. Everybody has to go through the “bad moments” in life. I’ve had my fair share of them (the depression for example) but the one that sticks out the most is the people who laughed at me when I told them I wanted to start fighting. The list of reasons why I could never do it was pretty damn long according to them. Yet here I am living on a tropical island still going after my dreams. Not everybody can take the steps that are necessary to live this life. Most people dabble in their fears and crumble under that pressure. Or they get stuck in their negative way of thinking and take it out on other people.
They have a bad day, lose a fight, face adversity and want to let the whole world know that they’re not happy. All possible thanks to social media. I’ve never understood this attitude. Where does this “fuck this day” attitude come from?! Life is a rollercoaster and even during the bad times, it’s important to smile. I was smiling backstage after my fight and spend some time with friends before I went to bed.
In the end, you have to realize that it doesn’t matter what you want if you quit as soon as you face an obstacle. Go get it if you want it. Go earn it, just like everybody else. It doesn’t matter what happens. Don’t break and don’t stop chasing what you want in life. The boulevard of broken dreams is filled with people who quit or never took action.
The lost fight: the walkout (aka cocky kid, did you see what he did).
I remember that I didn’t enjoy the first time I walked out to the ring. I was doing what everybody does, I just walked and went into the ring. That needed to change in my opinion. I was lucky enough to corner a teammate a couple of days before my fight so I already knew how I could walk out. I even joked about it. It was like a catwalk going into the ring. So I treated it like a catwalk when I walked out. The audience loved it but not everybody seemed to love it. I got some shit for that after the fight. Stuff like “be more humble”.
People seem to forget that fighting is entertainment. You’re there to entertain the crowd and they don’t care what happens as long as they see a show. So I treated everything like a show rather than turning my walk out into a snooze fest. In my second fight, I did something that some people can’t even do after 20 fights. I put myself out there and wasn’t afraid to face the consequences.
The whole “be humble” thing is bullshit. How is walking out and having fun a bad thing? Why is entertaining the crowd a bad thing?! Isn’t that what they were there for?! Being humble means ‘don’t stand out’.
This is the crabs in the bucket mentality. They don’t want you to stand out and will try to pull you back in when you do. Because in the end, those people assume that’s it’s better to lower people to their level than actually making an effort to get better. It’s all about being comfortable according to them.
Only insecure people use the term cocky.
People call me cocky all the time and at one point I decided to find out where that came from. I quickly understood that those people aren’t that confident. They just don’t understand. The fear of standing out makes them crumble in the spotlight. Being cocky is underestimating your opponent. That is being cocky. Walking out with confidence isn’t. Saying you’re gonna put a show isn’t. You just put your money where your mouth is and then, in the end, you cash or pay the bill. It’s as easy as that. More people want to put a show when they walk out or talk more about what they want to do but never do it because they’re afraid of what people will say when they lose a fight. That’s what holding them back. They don’t realize that loss is a part of life. Doesn’t look good on Instagram I guess.
People seem to forget that people who’re not humble don’t make it in the fight circuit since they won’t be able to handle all the losses during training. Being a beginner is a humbling experience on its own because you suck at everything. Plus down the line, you’ll realize that there are levels to this game. Just spar with ex- Bangkok stadium fighters in Thailand and you’ll realize what I mean.
The lost fight and confidence in your skillset.
I kind of had an 8-month training camp before this fight so it’s fair to say that I improved a lot. During that whole period, there was one conversation that was in the back of my mind. someone once asked me if I was confident in my skillset. So I told him that I was. He then asked me “why don’t you take a day off if you’re so confident in your skillset”. Blew me away but it’s true. Hard work alone won’t result in good performance. Hard work + rest will result in good performance. There’s nothing like feeling well-rested before a fight.
The lost fight and the highs and lows of fighting.
I never felt so amazing as before my second fight but losing that one just made me realize how fickle people are. The number of people that came up to me after the fight can be counted on one hand. But it doesn’t end there. There’s a saying that goes like “the tallest trees catch the most wind”. So the day after the fight I got shit by so-called experts. The hardest one that I had to hear was “you’d won if you’d worked harder” (not true by the way more on this later). This was referring to the fact that I took a deload week before the fight. I didn’t do this before my first fight but I also didn’t have a good strength and conditioning program back then. I did have one before my second fight and I can assure you that I felt a difference. The coach I work with (Don Heatrick) has worked with legends from the sport (Yodsanklai, Manachai, Liam Harrison,…). Sometimes I wonder how people assume they’ve got more expertise than an actual expert.
Why working harder alone is straight-up delusional.
More people would win the rematch if working harder alone would make the difference. People burn themselves out, do the same thing in the rematch, lose again and then don’t get what went wrong. The reality is that some people just have the style to beat you. In my fight, for example, he was good at shutting my jab down and making sure that I didn’t have space to set things up. That’s also the reason why it took me quite some time to get going. I needed space to set things up, he denied it so I had to adapt. I also felt the difference when it came to experience in the ring. He had way more so I fell into his game instead of him falling into mine.
So I know that working harder for a rematch and burning myself out would result in a loss. I focus on fixing the holes in my style rather than burning myself out. Doing the same thing twice and expecting a different result is stupid yet so many people do it. People who never realize this won’t have a good career or a very short one.
The bad fight that wasn’t so bad after all.
I remember saying that I was way more happy with my performance in my first fight. But then I quickly realized that it wasn’t about the performance but more about the feeling that I had about the fight. Losing isn’t fun not even if you know that you can either win or learn. The feeling sucks because you know you did everything right in preparation and couldn’t win. People giving you shit after a loss doesn’t make it better either. So that made me unhappy with my performance. This lasted until someone told me that she thought that I did a better job than in my first fight. After rewatching the fight I realized she was right. The performance was good, I just didn’t win and that’s why I didn’t like the performance at first.
So-called experts are everywhere.
You have a lot of online coaches who claim to know a lot but in reality, they know nothing or very little. They might have some experience but they’re not experts. People love to have an opinion and the funny thing is that the ones who’re the least qualified to give one mostly do. It’s hard to filter these people out (thanks to social media). The ones who give the right advice won’t force it on you like most people. In the end, they’re just as delusional as the virgin who assumes he’s gonna be a porn star when he loses his virginity. The fact that no one asks your opinion should be an indicator that you’re not an expert. Take notes.
This might also be the reason why you’re stuck at mediocrity. People who share their opinion with everyone seem pretty arrogant and not coachable at all. So to all you experts out there. Don’t project your insecurities on me. Just focus on you, that’s all you have to do.
In conclusion: oh no, I lost a fight…..
I lost a fight via decision, took little damage and learned my lessons. In the end, it’s more about the journey rather than the destination. People seem to forget this or might never realize this. They only focus on the outcome and that’s going to hurt if you don’t get the desired outcome.
Don’t forget to check out my books if you liked this post!
Till next time
Alex
