We’ve all heard people say they changed for the better. It’s a very popular thing to say these days. But rarely is there actual change. They are more under the illusion they changed.
They misunderstand what it actually takes to change and actively shoot themselves in the foot after. Why is that, and what could this mean for you? Let’s delve into it.
The illusion of change.
Let me be real. Most people never actually change. What most people get is a massive reality check that makes them think about changing their life. To them, that epiphany is the actual change. But an epiphany without any meaningful action is meaningless, of course.
But most of these people get a change in circumstance quickly after they have the epiphany. This could be a change of jobs, a new relationship, moving to a new city…. They see this new adventure as a gift.
It’s an omen/sign of the universe, I’m not sure what people call this these days, that they’re on the right track and need to pursue this even more. At least in their heads.
They get a massive ego boost and go all in. Why? Because they feel entitled and think they deserve it. This is obviously a very dangerous attitude to have. Because in reality, nothing ever changed. It’s merely an illusion.
The illusion of change made easy.
Imagine a couch potato one day has the epiphany that running might actually improve his cardio and overall health. Now he can do two things. Put this into action and start with a running program, or… the person could claim that cardio improved after he had the insight.
Or you have these people that read one self-development book and suddenly think they’re the next Buddha.
That is pretty delusional, right? What is missing here? Action is missing. Without action there is no change. And that is one of the biggest traps of the self-development industry to this day. They think reading all these self-development books changes them.
But it doesn’t; it’s merely procrastination disguised as action. How can you take action if you’re reading all the time?
These people hope to have an overnight change. But there is no such thing as an overnight change. The insight mostly has to go together with some deep work and a change of habits or actions.
Doesn’t sound like something that’ll happen after a good night’s sleep.
This is where most people stop. They don’t see the insight as the trigger to start something new. To them this is the finish line, and that is why their lives mostly go in a downward spiral after.
They cling on to whatever changed for them; after a while, it’s actually a poisoned gift.
The illusion of change and real change.
Let me break it to you. Real change is very hard because it requires you to have an honest introspection. You have to basically figure out why you cause your own suffering. Not an easy question to answer but also not an easy one to go through.
You wouldn’t shout from the roofs if you really went through this. I went through this post-divorce; I sat down and tried to figure out what went wrong because, thinking back, I noticed a pattern reemerging. I had to go way back to my childhood. I found the root cause back there.
Was it easy? Hell no, that was a hard hour where I was writing it all down and getting to the bottom of it. After that hour, I felt relieved. I took one last look at everything I wrote and tore the paper.
It was the end but also the beginning of something.
Because I realized that I still had to put in the work to actually change it.
Whenever we face a setback in life, we need to see this as an opportunity to improve ourselves. Rock bottom is the perfect foundation for that, but that’ll only happen if you put in the work.
You get the insight, do the deep work, and change your habits so it doesn’t happen again (this takes time).
As you see, it doesn’t happen overnight. Nor is it very easy. Breaking and changing habits you had for years running on autopilot isn’t easy, but it is worth it.
Further reading
- Eat, Sleep, Overtrain, Repeat → I cover the truth about underrecovery (most people call it overtraining).
- The Issue with Eating Out in Thailand → Aimed at Muay Thai fighters, but useful for anyone training here.
- The Nutrition Mistakes Killing Your Performance (Part 1)
- The Nutrition Mistakes Killing Your Performance (Part 2)
- The Nutrition Mistakes Killing Your Performance (Part 3)
- Zero To Alpha Wisdom #31: no risk, no story
