Chasing girls is something most us do or did in this day and age. It has become a new trend and it’s getting worse and worse. Guys are basically on the hunt 24/7 thanks to social media. Most of them don’t even know why they’re doing it.
Some guys will claim that they need a girlfriend. Now ask yourself the following question: do you need one to be happy?! Others will claim that they just want to sleep with as many women as possible. The reason why they do it doesn’t matter, to be honest. What matters is that you realize what I’m about to tell you.
Chasing girls: so do you need a girlfriend to be happy.
The answer is simple: No you don’t! Don’t rely on others for YOUR happiness. This is the number one mistake that people make in their life. But why do we focus so much on relationships? Why do we prefer being unhappy in a relationship instead of being alone? Humans are not designed to be alone; there is no doubt about that. But you’ll never be alone when you got a group of good friends. I have a small group of good friends and some people outside of that group and that’s more than enough.
I’ve been single for more than two years and the only reason why it bothered me was that other people kept asking me questions about it. There’s a saying “good things come to those who stay positive and take their time”. I genuinely believe this.
I mean if you read my story you know that it sometimes takes a lot of time. Even now I’m still learning every day so sometimes it’s a never-ending journey but that’s okay since it’s a fun ride.
The alternative to chasing girls
Just enjoy your life and work towards your goals; you’ll achieve more by doing this.
Can it be that simple? Yes, it can be that simple. Why would somebody else take you seriously if you can’t take yourself seriously? Maybe that’s the reason why you’re chasing girls. Your whole self- worth is related to girls.
While some of my friends are having multiple dates in a month I’ll be spending my money on books.
They always assume that I’m lonely because I read so much. But that’s far from true. I just really love doing it and I’ll keep on doing it.
Guess who‘s the happiest of them all? Me! That’s right I am the happiest of all of them because I focus on myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I like dating, but only with “the right girl”.I had five bad dates in six months and I was sick of it. Once you’re on Tinder you can keep on dating, that’s why I had that many dates in a short time. I didn’t get much out of it besides tons of frustration and two pieces of underwear as a birthday present.
When you’re single society pushes you towards a relationship
Every week I have the same conversation with my mother over and over again.
First, she asks me if I like a particular girl, I’ll always answer no, even if I’m dating someone at that moment. After that, she asks “don’t you like one of your friends or a girl in college?” The answer remains the same: no.
My mother even asked me once how I could be happy after being single for so long.
A while ago she even mentioned that my ex got into two relationships after we split up.
That’s right mom, after the first one, she returned to me and right now she doesn’t seem so happy in the second one.
Not my problem, ex is short for exit when they don’t have any respect for you.
Society treats you like a pariah when you don’t want to have all those frustrating dates.
It’s strange how society evolved in this way. It’s pushing all the people to unhappiness and frustration. The suicide rates are higher than ever before and people don’t seem to get why.
Others will help you chasing girls
We went to a party and I was introduced to a friend of a friend. She was my type so I started talking to her, she seemed normal so I was like the fifth date could be the right date.
Spoiler alert, it wasn’t!
It became one of the worst dates I’ve ever got. In the beginning, there was not a single cloud in the sky until later that night she started acting weird. So I decided to end the date and accompany her to her car because it was late at night. I quickly noticed that she was cold (it was around Christmas and it was freezing) so I put my cloak around her. That’s when it got even worse, she instantly gave it back to me and said: “I’m a strong and independent woman; if I’m cold I’ll ask you to give me your coat”.
I guess we have to thank feminism for this weird reaction. This is what I call a frustrating date; girls who react in this way are a guarantee for trouble. The problem is that your friends will push you to date so you don’t have the time to get to know her.
The best advice that I can give you is: don’t over rush it and fuck other people’s petty feelings.
Don’t date the first girl that’s served by somebody else on a plate.
It’s like playing Russian roulette with 6 bullets instead of one. The drama that followed afterward made me realize soon enough that I just needed to cut her loose.
Now I just see people dating and complaining, wasting their money and time to satisfy others.
Most girls are not worth the time nor the effort
Most of the girls just care about one thing and that’s updating their social media. “Look I’m on a date and I’m going to put it on my snapchat story”.
“Oh, I’ve forgotten to put it on Facebook and Instagram just so I can glance every five seconds at my phone to count my likes”. Make no mistake sometimes it’s a sign that they’re not interested. But in some cases, it’s a sign of disrespect.
It’s better to avoid social media addicted girls, especially when their phone is glued to their hand.
I mean who cares what outfit she’s wearing, #ootd all day, every day?
More like #IDon’tCare and #YouDon’tGetMyAttention.
A good date just keeps her phone in her purse, it’s a polite thing to do and it’s a sign of respect.
You don’t need the ones that suck away your happiness and energy right from the start.
You don’t need to worry about their petty feelings either. Some other guy will give them the attention that they need. The ones who keep on chasing girls will do a fine job. Don’t be like them, be smart from the start.
Some guys are on the hunt but most girls aren’t blunt
The story I’m going to share is one that I witnessed in person and I’m still wondering what went wrong inside this guy’s head.
A friend of mine dated a guy she met on Tinder but she didn’t like him. We went out at the weekend and suddenly two guys started to talk to her. The guy she dated and his friend. They were both extremely skinny and looked like they were 16, turned out they were my age (23 at the time). The guy she dated was smart, he just realized she didn’t like him enough but the other guy just kept talking to her.
Breaking the bro code like a boss.
Throwing away dignity like a boss
It took me 1 minute to realize that she didn’t like the guy but I was sure he would figure this out himself.
The weird thing was that he never did.
The puppy comparison
He kept standing next to my group of friends because the girl had compassion for this guy. She even compared him to a little cute puppy in an asylum. She compared him to a puppy which every girl wants to adopt after they saw it. The friendzone was getting closer and closer.
He had to figure out himself that he was making a joke of himself. But he didn’t. Suddenly the girl “left to go see a friend”. She just made up an excuse to get rid of him. She left in the crowd and was gone for about half an hour. That whole time this guy kept standing next to us, just smiling.
He was probably thinking that he was doing great. I guess his parents dropped him a couple of times when he was a baby.
In the end, he even asked her phone number, probably to show off to his friends. Or he assumed that he would get a date out of this.
He threw away his dignity just to score a phone number! Which is beyond insanity if you ask me.
He was used to chasing girls without a doubt. It probably boosted his self-esteem too.
Girls will give you their number when you make a fool out of yourself just to be polite. I guess they don’t want to make those guys cry.
If you notice a girl is giving her friends more attention than you: just be polite, say “enjoy your night” and go away. The fact that she doesn’t pay attention to you is a subtle way of saying she’s not interested. So just have a good time with your friends and stop focusing on chasing girls.
A brief conclusion to avoid confusion
My advice: instead of throwing away your dignity to score girls, it’s better to focus on things that matter in life. Good things will follow to those who work for it. Work towards your best self and your life will improve drastically! Most men don’t seem to realize that time is their most valuable asset. Use your time wisely and your life will improve big time. One of the side effects is that you’ll date or meet quality women instead of attention whores and drama queens.
In conclusion: shouldn’t you do barbell curls instead of chasing girls?! Shouldn’t you read instead of performing a desperate deed?!
Chase excellence and do the work instead of chasing women.
Did you like this post?
I suggest you check out the 2 posts that I wrote on lessons I learned before turning 24 and 25.
You can read the one I wrote for my 24th birthday here.
You can read the one that I wrote before my 25th birthday here.
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Till next time
Alex
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thnk you for this post it’s fun and it is relatble
Thank you for this post. It is really helpful and relatable.
Glad you liked it!