Alex, are you even to get? I got this question on a Saturday night at a party. I had no clue where the question came from to be honest. People just like to get philosophical after midnight. So I joked about it and said that I was according to Facebook. So this question was asked by a good friend but I would have been a lot different if this was asked by a girl whom I dated. I’ll explain in a minute. So I’m going to divide this post in 2 parts. The first part will be why some guys seem unavailable and the second part will be about girls who like to play hard to get. I can guarantee you that it’ll be entertaining.
It’s no joke because from time to time I like to provoke.
Are you hard to get or not to get at all? The ex- files
So most guys chase girls like a boss. They just want to get laid so they’re pretty easy. They put forth the effort and act like a nice guy to get the job done. The truth is that they’ve got no clue on what they want. These guys just jump from relationship to relationship but they don’t learn anything from it. They assume that they’re doomed because they keep on dating the same kind of girl. But there are also guys who’ll learn one or multiple lessons from their broken relationship(s). Like I learned that I had to work on myself and that I needed someone that does effort. You either put forth the effort or you don’t. You can’t fake it. Most people hate to work for something. They want it the easy way. So this will end in an unhappy marriage with a bad sex life.
I don’t want that and I can’t imagine that someone wants it. That’s why I and some other guys take a slower approach to dating. Good things come to those who wait and work hard. That’s how life works, too bad that most people don’t get it.
Let’s go back to Saturday night one last time. Really not to get at all?
Can you remember that I said that it would be a whole different story if this would have been asked by a girl whom I dated? Can you guess why? Because she would have meant something completely different. You just have to read between the lines. Her real question would have been something like this: “why do I have to put forth the effort for you?”. You have to put forth the effort from both sides off course. But that’s the base of a great relationship. I don’t want to end up a relationship where we both get into a comfort zone. Never settle once you’ve got what you want. You’ll wake up with a divorce if you sleep on a relationship. Do what you always did: put forth the effort. I’m all about that hard work.
But Alex what if I don’t want to put forth the effort at all after I’m in a relation? Well enjoy your divorce when you’re in your 40’s my friend.
Are you hard to get or not to get at all? Let’s talk about women
Women have always been hard to get. I once heard the grandmother of a buddy of mine talk about it. It was pretty entertaining. I just doubt that a part of our generation has a clue on what they’re doing. Sure you need to be hard to get but there’s a point where you could stop it. I’ve heard women claim that they’re too hard to get. Maybe they should realize that they should stop playing hard to get when they meet a great guy. Or maybe you should stop playing dumb games. They shot themselves in the foot and they didn’t even realize it.
Are you hard to get or not to get at all? Stop playing dumb games
There are some weird dating rules floating around these days. Things like look for signs or pretend that you’re busy. How can you pretend that you’re busy? Is that a part of being hard to get? So you rather be alone and bored than to meet up with someone you like? That’s really really weird. You either have shit to do or you don’t. It’s really that easy. Yeah yeah I get it, you want to feel important but that’s just to serve your ego. People will notice that you’re just pretending after a while.
What if she’s really always busy
There are women who’re really busy. They play sports, have other hobbies, go out all the time and have tons of friends. I hate to break it to you but you can’t be together with someone like that. So you have to set priorities in life. You just can’t have it all. You have to sacrifice things to make sure that you can make everything work. Being in a relationship means that you’ll see friends less or even lose friends/hobbies. Setting those priorities is a sign of maturity. You can never make everybody happy. You can only make yourself happy. It may sound selfish but that’s just how it is. You are in charge of your own life and happiness.
But beware it well happen eventually. People move in together, get a job and they just disappear. In the end you’ll probably end up with 3 to 5 good friends. 5 really is a lot. Some people realize this at one point but other people have no clue on what happened when they’re suddenly alone with nothing to do on a Saturday night. You can’t date such a person and you can’t wait till they realize it. Life goes on so that’s what you should do as well.
Stop looking for signs! You’re not hunting aliens
I always wondered where all the “look for signs bullshit” came from. Things like look for dilated pupils (you might look like a creep when you do this and light plays a factor as well) or she’s interested when she plays with her hair (she could be bored as well). Man these sign could lead to awkward situations. People tend to focus so much on dumb shit that they’re not present in the moment. Look for a connection instead of signs. Dating isn’t rocket science: let me explain how dating should go in a nutshell. People make stuff way too complicated.
Dating in a nutshell
Meet up and have a great time
Had a great time? Good.
Meet up again if there’s a great connection and keep doing it
Don’t play games, be a gentleman
Get happy together and have awesome sex
Have an argument from time to time but always solve it
Always keep on doing effort
Make handsome babies (if you want kids off course)
Stay together till you die without being in a sexless marriage
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Till next time