It’s time to share some life lessons which I learned over the course over a year. I was wondering what kind of blog that I would write on my birthday and suddenly it struck me. I could do the same thing as I did last year but with new life lessons of course (read those here). You have to see it as a summary of my year. I just share the highlights of the life lessons that I learned because I can’t share them all. You have to realize that I learn something new every single day so it would be a pretty long blog post if I would share them all. But first I want to debunk a myth.

Many people asked me how I felt the week prior to my birthday. I didn’t get it to be honest. I feel and look better than ever. They all assume that it goes downhill after your 21st birthday. That’s just wrong. It all depends on your lifestyle. I want to close this introduction with a quote to describe how I feel: I’m like a Cuban cigar. I get better as I age and the best is yet to come. Anyway, enough about my birthday, let’s dive into the first of the many life lessons.

Life lessons about dating

Well, I chose to start with a topic that’s familiar to most people. The vast majority of people are single these days.  So maybe they could learn a thing or two here.

Looks aren’t everything in life

This might be one of the shocking ones in the life lessons but I mean it. I have a cauliflower ear (Google it if you don’t know it) due to grappling and I had a black eye at the same time. So people stared at me because I looked like I had been involved in a fistfight. I didn’t drain the ear because I didn’t want to skip a week on training. I still have a particular quote in mind when people start to point my ear out.

A wise man once said: beauty is the worst trait that you can own. You’re nothing with beauty on its own. What if a beautiful girl acts like a complete bitch? I wouldn’t date her. I wouldn’t date a dumb girl who’s pretty either. Most guys would do it but I don’t. I’d rather be together with a ‘less pretty girl’ who’s a catch than a ‘beautiful’ girl who’s dumb and arrogant. I would ditch the latter for sure. You need more than fancy looks to impress me.

On the side note: trying to impress people mostly has the opposite effect.

Just be yourself, that’s a challenge on its own.

Life lessons and a fun story on the side note

My ex-girlfriend once mocked me because I was balding. We weren’t together anymore and she told me that she didn’t want to be together with a guy who’s balding. I was devastated at that particular moment but that all changed when I shaved my hair off 2 years later. People tell me that I look better than ever. I really like it, to be honest. Some people claim that it’s weird that I shave my head but their self- worth is still linked to their hair. I wish them the best of luck when they’ll start to go bald. They’ll probably invest in hair transplants to keep it.

That’s just pathetic if you ask me. Looks aren’t everything. You should own your face and don’t give a fuck about other people’s opinions.

Never kiss on the first date

This might sound like a shocker but, I mean it. You should never kiss because it’s a recipe for disaster. Most people want to go way too fast. They want instant gratification but end up with long-term frustration. Why do people kiss on the first date anyway? Because all your friends tell you so?! Maybe you don’t want to be lonely? You should aim for a solid base first before you move on to the next level. So it’s best to be sure that you know the other person well before you move on to the next level. You might assume that I’m boring but, I have one simple message for you. My life isn’t the summary of every drama show that airs on television. You can draw your own conclusions.

Take it slow. That’s what smart people do.

You see the potential in a person when you date

I dated a girl earlier this year and I assumed that we would have tons of dates. It didn’t turn out the way that I thought it would be. She was a different person when we met the second time. I didn’t get until someone told me that you always see the potential in the people you date. It all made sense after that. That’s another reason why you shouldn’t kiss on the first date. People will eventually showcase their true nature. They either live up to the potential or they don’t. Some people want to grow while others will hold you down. So it’s better to wait and see if people truly live up to their potential. Most people sadly don’t.

People like to be lonely together

People can’t be alone. They just can’t. I realized this when I went to a restaurant on my own. People were giving me weird looks since I was there on my own. I gave those people a topic to talk about, to be honest. They soon all returned to staring mode. They just sat in front of each other in silence. So I either go with real friends or I go on my own. The same goes for relationships. People don’t care about who they date. They just want to be with someone so that they aren’t alone. It’s extremely pathetic if you can’t be alone. Grow up! Be with someone that you really like or learn to be alone. Don’t act like a little kid. 

You’ll never be able to make a person happy if you’re not able to make yourself happy. Another one I like is this one: you’re in some really bad company if you’re feeling lonely.

Life lessons about money

People are obsessed with money these days. They just can’t seem to earn enough money. Others play the lottery of course. This is a common pitfall in our modern day society and here’s why.

Money is the worst motivation there is 

People would do everything for money. They would even sell their own soul if this would be possible. You should never pick a job or a career just for the money. It’ll be a short-lived career if you choose money as a main motivator. You’ll hate your job in no time and won’t find a reason to wake up anymore. Do something you like and forget about the money. You’ll be a lot happier. You don’t have to believe me. I’m just sharing what I learned over the course of a year.

Money isn’t your biggest asset but what is…?

Can you guess what your biggest asset is? It’s time. You can never make up your lost time but you can always regain your financial losses. My number one priority is to use my time wisely. Money was and never will be a priority. Just take a look at how much time you’ve actually lost while you were chasing money. I did useful things in that period of time. It’s all about priorities and I want to be productive in the time that I’m awake.

Life lessons about people

Everybody is replaceable.

This might sound like a shocker but I mean it. I don’t care about looks, how long I know certain people if they’re family and so on. You’re replaceable if you know me. I follow the ‘two strikes and you’re out’ approach. I can guarantee you that a lot of people assumed that I was kidding but, I wasn’t. Those people aren’t a part of my life anymore and they probably still don’t get why. The reason is pretty simple: you tried to screw me more than once and now you’re out. Or you disappointed me twice and you’re out.

Life’s too short to spend time with people who’re not worth it. This approach makes life so much easier.

People are great actors but never get an Oscar

People like to act as if everything goes perfectly in their life and that’s the mistake that they make. Perfection doesn’t exist. I’m not afraid to admit when I face some rough times or fucked something up. It’s part of life and I embrace it.  Life is full of highs and lows and I try to walk the middle line. Most people are living in the so-called perfect relationship but that’s just an act.  I realized that most people have no clue on what a good relationship looks like. I know 2 couples who’re really happy together. Maybe 3 but I don’t know them that well so I can’t make a statement about them.

People’s lives look like a drama show because they act all the time. You can’t solve all your problems if you never acknowledge them. It’s stupid to neglect it and even dangerous for your own mental health. So stop pretending that everything is fine. Admit your problems and take care of them.

People really get dumb and dumber after a certain age

Albert Einstein said that you start dying as soon as you stop learning. He was right you know. People really become dumb after college or university. They act like children in a grown-up body. I once met people after I hadn’t seen them for a very long time (a year to be exact). They still complained about the same problems. I really tried to figure out how they couldn’t solve a problem over the course of a year. Your brain is like a muscle. You either use it or lose it.

So start reading or prepare yourself for a life where you’ll be frustrated about the small things in life. Those people are bitter all the time and they feel cheated by life as well. Make no mistake, you cheated on yourself. Life didn’t go jack shit.

Most people don’t like to work hard but they like something else

Most people don’t like to work hard at all. They all assume that they work hard but it’s pure bullshit. Those people aren’t tired, they’re uninspired. Those people do everything to avoid the task ahead. It’s a simple form of escapism but it makes sure that they waste so much damn time. Those are the people who’ll claim that they’ll watch one episode of a sudden show. Suddenly they realize that they’ve binge-watched a whole season. It’s too late to work by that time so they eventually don’t start at all. Those people eventually use the ‘no time’ excuse over and over again. They don’t want to admit that they’re lazy because it stings. Their precious ego can’t handle it and that’s why they’re fucked.

I’ve got one simple message for those people: fuck Netflix and chill. I do MMA and drill.

In conclusion: You need to work or admit that you don’t want to work. There’s not a single excuse on planet earth that will justify your laziness.

Life lessons about people

Hard work pays off in the long run

I released 4 blog posts a week since my previous birthday and I even released a book. I train a lot on top of that. I’m just improving in all those areas because I work hard and don’t shy away from it. You can have all the talent in the world but you won’t outwork me. You’re competing with the wrong guy when it comes to that matter. Here’s a story to prove it.

I trained in All-Stars MMA this summer, the gym of Alexander Gustafsson. We did a hard conditioning workout that lasted an hour. We were all draining in sweat when the workout was over. So I was going to do some extra work and I wasn’t the only one. So I was doing my thing and they all left because they were tired. All but one guy. I had noticed that he kept on watching me because he wanted to see when I was going to quit. He eventually left after an hour and I trained for another hour. You see I didn’t compete with him. I competed with myself. That guy quit because he was trying to compete with me.

Winners focus on winning while losers focus on winners. Remember that quote.

Life lessons about life

Do what you love to get rid of fear

Have you ever tried something new but eventually quit because somebody mocked you? I was mocked once on Facebook by a girl who was citing part of a blog post on a picture of me. I just liked it. People like to mock others all the time. You’ve got to do something that you really like in order to make sure that you don’t stop when people hate on you. That’s the secret. Well not really a secret but most people don’t get it. I don’t do fancy stuff on my birthday, to be honest.  I woke up early, revised this blog, read a book, went to work, ate my birthday steak and went training. Because I just love to train MMA.

Walk the walk and talk the talk or just don’t talk at all

A lot of people make crazy predictions or are extremely vocal about their goals in life. It’s all good, but you’ve got to realize that you’ll make a big joke of yourself if you can’t stick to them. Most people fail drastically when they’re in pursuit of a goal. They just quit because they can’t embrace the grind. They don’t like it and set up another project that’ll fail just as quickly as the previous one. Those guys are pretty vocal about stuff and claim that they’ll reach the goal one day. It’s too vague and I avoid these people simply because they don’t like to work hard. All the ideas that are great and can’t fail at all mostly do.

There’s always a solution but never a problem

I still have a couple of life lessons left. Isn’t it crazy that I learned so much over the course of a year? It made me smile for a minute. Well, it made me smile more. I just appreciated the moment and wrote on. People tend to focus way too much on the problem and that’s why they can’t solve it. I, on the other hand, focus on the solution and always fix it. That’s why most people shy away from failure while I just embrace it. I once broke my nose (well it was heavily bruised) in a sparring session. My nose kept on bleeding for 15 minutes. Most people would quit here but I just wanted to know what I did wrong and go back on the mats. I was out for a week but I the event didn’t hold me back.

I found the solution to the problem and it won’t happen again. Lesson learned. Next, please.

Slow progress is progress

People aren’t patient when it comes to certain things. They all want it as soon as possible. People focus on the outcome instead of the process. I focus on the process instead of the outcome. I love the process. It’s the most beautiful thing there is. There are times where the process gets frustrating because you don’t seem to progress at all but you’ve got to keep trying. Suddenly you’ll progress and keep on progressing. The end result is fun for maybe 3 seconds but the process doesn’t bore me at all. Time flies by and that’s when you’re focusing on the process.

In conclusion: don’t stop because your progress is a bit slower than usual. Keep going and eventually, your progress will skyrocket. Nobody knows how long it’ll take. It takes as long as it takes. The worst thing you could do is being impatient.

The last one of the life lessons: you need a purpose to be happy in life

You need a goal, a purpose or just something bigger than yourself to get up first thing in the morning. People assume that I perform some kind of magic trick when I get up first thing in the morning. In reality, I don’t. I have a purpose in life and that’s also the reason why I don’t waste time. I look forward to the weekends because I’ve got even more time to be productive. Other people hate the weekends because they’ve got so much spare time. So these people party till they pass out by all the booze they’ve indulged. People just perform all kinds of escapism just to avoid the reality check.

Face it; you’ve got no clue what you want in life so everything that kills time is perfect in your opinion.Just ask yourself the following question: are you really happy if you’re sleeping until noon during the weekends? Or are you really happy when you chase girls? The answer is no. You’re just bored and I don’t get that you’re bored in this day and age.

Life lessons and the fact that I’m grateful

I’m pretty grateful that I was able to write this post. I just gave away a lot of life lessons and I gave them away for free. I’m pretty honored if you made it to the end of the post, to be honest. It’s one of the biggest ones that I ever wrote. I’ll do this again next year. But next year the post will be even bigger and better. Mark my words.

Well, I’m going to eat a big steak and I’m off to training. It’s like I said. I never did Netflix and chill but I always do MMA and drill. Happy birthday to me!

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Till next time

Alex

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